These past 6 months have really been a challenge. My goal I wanted for work, didn't go as planned, so I ran off to Hawaii. My migraines are/were still not manageable, my jeep is/was having issues, and my staff at work has been unstable. What is wrong with the people these days? No one cares about their job or keeping a job, let alone just being grateful to have a job? I don't know. Another one bites the dust. Maybe it's a millennial thing. (I do not consider myself a millennial even though I'm technically on the very edge of being considered a millennial)
I realized in the past couple of weeks as well, that my life is somewhat boring, and I'm completely okay with that.
All at the same time my therapist left me and my best friend moved to Colorado, someone who I paid to be my friend, decided to retire and told me that I made so much progress that I didn't need be a therapist anymore. And then my best friend moving out of the state. Didn't make it any better. The beginning of this year, my best friend took a job in Amsterdam, so now she is even farther away. With her being in Colorado at least it was an easy 2 hour flight that I could and was getting use to doing alone. It was like almost having a second home in Denver. Since she has moved to Amsterdam, I have not been able to muster up the guts and fly that distance alone. I don't have a lot friends and I don't care to make new ones. I have friends that I chat with via phone and keep up with, but as my best friend, someone who I see and hang out with on a regular, other than my husband, decided to leave as well. It has been a strange transition with her being gone. She is on a completely different schedule. By the time I get off work and have a free chance to call her, she's already in bed and I don't want to bother her.
To explain more of my work situation, I was up for promotion in July. I already knew about the promotion and what my goals were. They put me in a 'manager' program and I would be re-evaluated in July for the promotion as Branch Manager. When I was presented this 'manager' program for a year, it was a little off putting already. Having to wait another year to be Branch manager. I 'm already so old. July rolls around and low and behold, I didn't get promoted. So I left for Hawaii and didn't want to return to my work life. I put my heart in soul into the year long training program, I did everything and took on as much as I could to challenge myself and to prove that I was good enough for the part. I blackout during my evaluation so there's not much I can recall of the meeting I was having. I was to be re-evaluated again in October. Again? Geez. I don't think anyone reads my blogs and I could/should put my honest opinion in what I think and say, but with this being my job I shouldn't jeopardize anything. I do want my job. I enjoy doing what I do.
So, I got my promotion in October and well... here I am. Finally.
My sister turned 30 a few weeks ago. She didn't even make it to midnight. We were back in the hotel room and she was done before midnight, her friends were able to last way into the morning hours. I stayed back to took care of my very drunken sister. I was sober as a kit. After I settled my sister down I was content with being in the amazing hotel room we got for her birthday, taking in the views of the city and relaxing quietly by myself. My only goal for the next morning was to take a shower in the amazing bathroom in this hotel we were staying in. I couldn't wait.
Waking up the next morning and being so sober was liberating. My sister on the other hand, looked like shit. Shout out to my sister, by the way, my sister has the most amazing big sister. I have never cleaned up so much so vomit in my entire life. But of course that's what big sisters are for. To take care of our little sisters.
I remember being young and wild. Thinking back on my younger days, makes me so exhausted. Even just thinking about it. I don't know how I use to do the things I did back in the day. My life now is work and home. I rarely ever leave my house. I am such a homebody it's ridiculous. I just love being home. Even on the weekends, it's just me, myself, my dogs and my husband. My husband is the social one so he goes out with his friends when he can.
Life is exhausting, and I realize I might be slightly depressed, but I can still function for the most part. I get sad but not to a point where it effects my entire life or work life. I think a lot of it also has to do my medication I'm on.
I have nothing to be depressed about or sad about. My life is very good. I have a good life. It's thing that have happened to me in the past that still haunt me. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I would most definitely love to delete a few things in my life.
I realized in the past couple of weeks as well, that my life is somewhat boring, and I'm completely okay with that.
All at the same time my therapist left me and my best friend moved to Colorado, someone who I paid to be my friend, decided to retire and told me that I made so much progress that I didn't need be a therapist anymore. And then my best friend moving out of the state. Didn't make it any better. The beginning of this year, my best friend took a job in Amsterdam, so now she is even farther away. With her being in Colorado at least it was an easy 2 hour flight that I could and was getting use to doing alone. It was like almost having a second home in Denver. Since she has moved to Amsterdam, I have not been able to muster up the guts and fly that distance alone. I don't have a lot friends and I don't care to make new ones. I have friends that I chat with via phone and keep up with, but as my best friend, someone who I see and hang out with on a regular, other than my husband, decided to leave as well. It has been a strange transition with her being gone. She is on a completely different schedule. By the time I get off work and have a free chance to call her, she's already in bed and I don't want to bother her.
To explain more of my work situation, I was up for promotion in July. I already knew about the promotion and what my goals were. They put me in a 'manager' program and I would be re-evaluated in July for the promotion as Branch Manager. When I was presented this 'manager' program for a year, it was a little off putting already. Having to wait another year to be Branch manager. I 'm already so old. July rolls around and low and behold, I didn't get promoted. So I left for Hawaii and didn't want to return to my work life. I put my heart in soul into the year long training program, I did everything and took on as much as I could to challenge myself and to prove that I was good enough for the part. I blackout during my evaluation so there's not much I can recall of the meeting I was having. I was to be re-evaluated again in October. Again? Geez. I don't think anyone reads my blogs and I could/should put my honest opinion in what I think and say, but with this being my job I shouldn't jeopardize anything. I do want my job. I enjoy doing what I do.
So, I got my promotion in October and well... here I am. Finally.
My sister turned 30 a few weeks ago. She didn't even make it to midnight. We were back in the hotel room and she was done before midnight, her friends were able to last way into the morning hours. I stayed back to took care of my very drunken sister. I was sober as a kit. After I settled my sister down I was content with being in the amazing hotel room we got for her birthday, taking in the views of the city and relaxing quietly by myself. My only goal for the next morning was to take a shower in the amazing bathroom in this hotel we were staying in. I couldn't wait.
Waking up the next morning and being so sober was liberating. My sister on the other hand, looked like shit. Shout out to my sister, by the way, my sister has the most amazing big sister. I have never cleaned up so much so vomit in my entire life. But of course that's what big sisters are for. To take care of our little sisters.
I remember being young and wild. Thinking back on my younger days, makes me so exhausted. Even just thinking about it. I don't know how I use to do the things I did back in the day. My life now is work and home. I rarely ever leave my house. I am such a homebody it's ridiculous. I just love being home. Even on the weekends, it's just me, myself, my dogs and my husband. My husband is the social one so he goes out with his friends when he can.
Life is exhausting, and I realize I might be slightly depressed, but I can still function for the most part. I get sad but not to a point where it effects my entire life or work life. I think a lot of it also has to do my medication I'm on.
I have nothing to be depressed about or sad about. My life is very good. I have a good life. It's thing that have happened to me in the past that still haunt me. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I would most definitely love to delete a few things in my life.