Writing Away

Grief is a strange thing. You can go years, months, or days feeling like you’re okay, and then out of nowhere it knocks you to your knees and steals the breath from your lungs. Suddenly the memories and emotions come rushing back, flooding through your entire body. Grief comes in waves. When the wound is still fresh, the waves are relentless. The pain feels unbearable, and you’re not sure you can survive it. You don’t know how you’re supposed to move forward when the life you thought you had is suddenly gone. When you’re young, you don’t always know how to cope. Sometimes the only thing you know how to do is bury the pain and lose yourself in being the fun, carefree girl everyone expects you to be. But life does go on. Somehow, you keep moving forward. You learn to live with the choices, the memories, and the trauma. Some days you take a few steps forward, only to feel like you’ve taken ten steps back the next. It’s a vicious cycle—but it’s also part of learning how to carry the gri...

 Where do I even begin? I got sick a few days before New Year’s Eve and ended up ringing in 2026 sick. Is anyone surprised? Because I’m not. I was down for a full week with a terrible case of strep throat—and I don’t even have tonsils. My doctor basically said I’m just prone to strep… because of course I am. Just my luck. Let’s back up to a few days after Christmas. My husband goes on his annual hunting trip every year, which is usually why I end up ringing in the New Year alone. But this time, I decided to go with him. We packed up the Frenchies, Bruno stayed with my sister, and we headed west for a long weekend of hunting. He always brings a couple of deer home, and that meat lasts us through the year. I know hunting isn’t for everyone. We don’t kill for sport—we hunt for food, and we use every part of it. This was actually my first time going to truly hunt. I’ve been out to the land before to shoot guns, fill feeders, and hang around camp… but I’d never gone hunting until now. I...

My sister and I took an early 7 a.m. flight to New York for her birthday. The night before, I had put on a new Dexcom, but just as I was leaving for the airport, I got a notification telling me to remove it immediately because it was defective. Cue me frantically trying to replace it without crying—definitely not the smooth start I’d pictured. At the airport, I somehow ended up at the wrong gate while my sister was at the correct one. I went through security alone and made it to what I thought was our gate, waiting by myself for about 20 minutes… until my sister called, annoyed, asking where I was. She thought I was running late and was now rushing through security, while I was already calmly sitting at the actual gate, ready to board. We finally met up, I apologized for the mix-up, she forgave me, and we grabbed some coffee. Caffeine in hand, we headed back to board—only to discover we were surrounded by a group of about 20 teenagers on a school trip to New York. My sister and I aren’...

It’s hard to put into words where this world is headed. I don’t share political opinions or push my religious beliefs on others. Instead, I choose to stand firm in my faith while seeking understanding and finding ways to relate to what’s happening in today’s political climate. As a "younger" person, based on what we’ve been taught and learned growing up, the way to make a difference is by speaking up, showing up, and advocating for your rights. So how do we not feel silenced when we see a young man gunned down simply for standing up for his faith and his rights? Times like these make you question how much you want to share on social media. Will I be judged or even persecuted for my faith? But I remember what my mom told me when I was younger: if anyone ever asks about my faith, I should always stand up to say that I am a Christian. No matter your political beliefs or religion, this act of hatred is completely unacceptable. A life was taken, a murderer acted with violence, chi...

Well, I made it! I’m here and still alive after surgery. 🙌 I’ll have some gnarly scars on my stomach, but I’m calling them my battle scars . Recovery was surprisingly smooth—honestly, way easier than my tonsillectomy. I had my follow-up appointment, and my doctor officially cleared me to ride again. Getting back to the barn after not riding since February felt amazing —it really is my happy place. 🐎 I’m feeling so much better now. No more pain! I’ve been way more mindful about what I eat. My stomach is a bit more sensitive to foods that never used to bother me, but it’s manageable. Plus, I may have accumulated a massive collection of flowy dresses and overalls during recovery since anything tight around my stomach was a no-go. 😅 Surgery Day Recap: 6:00 AM: Arrived at the hospital and got prepped. I was nervous and scared, but they gave me a nice cocktail of sedatives—and lights out! 10:00 AM: I woke up from anesthesia and asked the nurse if I was dead. She laughed and reassu...

I’m really struggling with watching my parents grow older. My mom’s memory has declined a lot, and walking has become difficult for her. She’s not active anymore—she mostly stays at home, only doing small chores around the house. She has very little motivation to do anything beyond that. My dad takes care of so much for her, and I try to keep her going by spending time with her, but our conversations feel so different now. As for my dad, his health is okay—not great, but manageable. I’ve mentioned before how hard it is to watch him face the physical limitations that come with age. He’s always been the kind of dad who could do it all—fix anything, carry anything, help with anything. He’s been my rock, always there to support me. I don’t think he ever imagined he’d still be helping his 40-year-old daughter with Jeep mods—but knowing him, I’m sure he secretly loves it. My dad and I are both facing new health challenges right now. I’m scared—but thankfully, mine isn’t life-threatening, as...

Things have changed quite a bit since my last post—mostly due to health challenges. I’ve been sick twice and out of the office for an extended period. I managed to return to work for a week, only to fall ill again, recover, and then experience a relapse that took me out once more.  I thought I was finally on the mend, but I spent an entire weekend knocked out by a migraine—only to be hit in the middle of the night by a gallbladder stone attack. That landed me in the ER, where they put me on morphine. Let’s just say… that was an unforgettable experience. I think morphine makes most people drowsy—but not me. Every thought that popped into my head, I had to say out loud. My poor husband was so annoyed, trying to get some rest in that uncomfortable hospital chair, especially since he had a business trip later that afternoon. As if trying to sleep in a hospital wasn't hard enough already. We finally made it back home, crawled straight into bed, and I eventually passed out from all the m...