Skip to main content

Cultivating relationships

Maintaining relationships demands effort; it's a mutual journey. Each party contributes, and amidst this exchange, bonds form—be it friendships or deeper connections. Some relationships necessitate more investment; sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, striving to sustain the connection. Personally, I've struggled with nurturing friendships; perhaps due to youthful ignorance, where life felt boundless, consequences seemed distant, and self-centeredness prevailed.


As age brings maturity, many friendships naturally drift away amid life's chaos and the challenges of adulthood. Reflecting on my past interactions often astonishes me; how did I manage any healthy relationships back then? Truthfully, I didn't. Those who I once considered friends, or who considered me as such, have vanished, leaving behind only fragmented memories—thanks, memory loss.


Although forgetfulness might seem a blessing, the impressions we leave behind persist. This notion unnerves me as I ponder my childless millennial future. What legacy do I forge? Will I be recalled as a callous, immature soul, or as a compassionate individual? Bullying, a delicate issue today, finds me grappling with my past behavior—I wasn't a bully, but a mean girl, though the distinction might seem trivial.


Yet, people evolve; experiences shape us. The past, with its regrets, can haunt, but severing ties allows growth. Embracing my past has paved the way for my transformation. My journey, marked by decisions both commendable and regrettable, defines me. 


In my professional realm, I once commanded respect through sternness. My staff feared me, but they also delivered results. Today, I'm a different person, capable of surprising even my former colleagues. Life evolves, and so must we. Adapting becomes survival.


Consider a job interview: I'd be described as tough, strict, perhaps even harsh. Yet, my team's loyalty and productivity spoke volumes. The legacy I left wasn't one of warmth but of efficiency, and I'm content with that. Life, after all, is about results.


Yet, contradictions abound. Recently, an old friend resurfaced, offering a perspective on my past vastly different from my own. It's a reminder of how we compartmentalize relationships, shielding vulnerabilities behind walls.


Today, the relationships I cherish are those forged through effort, enduring through life's twists and turns. These are the bonds I'll nurture, fighting to preserve. Change is inevitable; what matters is evolving together, weathering each other's transformations.


So, here's my nugget of wisdom—for the week, month, year. It's exhausting, but necessary, to reflect and share. As the weekend beckons, I'm tempted to retire my thoughts. Smart mare bids adieu, at least until Monday. Time to unwind—though, honestly, I'm headed straight to bed.


Oh, and an update on my healing eyeball: progress, albeit slow. Another follow-up looms next week. The weekend couldn't come sooner.

Popular posts from this blog

2026

 Where do I even begin? I got sick a few days before New Year’s Eve and ended up ringing in 2026 sick. Is anyone surprised? Because I’m not. I was down for a full week with a terrible case of strep throat—and I don’t even have tonsils. My doctor basically said I’m just prone to strep… because of course I am. Just my luck. Let’s back up to a few days after Christmas. My husband goes on his annual hunting trip every year, which is usually why I end up ringing in the New Year alone. But this time, I decided to go with him. We packed up the Frenchies, Bruno stayed with my sister, and we headed west for a long weekend of hunting. He always brings a couple of deer home, and that meat lasts us through the year. I know hunting isn’t for everyone. We don’t kill for sport—we hunt for food, and we use every part of it. This was actually my first time going to truly hunt. I’ve been out to the land before to shoot guns, fill feeders, and hang around camp… but I’d never gone hunting until now. I...
Read more
I was recently talking with my best friend. I don’t remember how we got onto the subject, but I advised her to take her secrets to the grave—bury them somewhere deep, throw away the key, tell no one, and move on with her life. She looked at me and asked, “Are there secrets you’re keeping from me?” Honestly, probably—but I may have forgotten those too. I’ve compartmentalized so much of my life that I’ve locked entire parts of myself away and left them there. When I lost part of my memory a few years ago, I think many of my secrets disappeared with it. It’s like hiding something from yourself so well that eventually, even you can’t find it anymore. These days, I joke that I have selective memory loss. I remember what deeply affects me and whatever else my brain decides is important. Everything else gets filed away somewhere with no apparent retrieval system. I function normally. I handle my responsibilities and perform my job well. But parts of my past feel distant or completely missing,...
Read more
My sister and I took an early 7 a.m. flight to New York for her birthday. The night before, I had put on a new Dexcom, but just as I was leaving for the airport, I got a notification telling me to remove it immediately because it was defective. Cue me frantically trying to replace it without crying—definitely not the smooth start I’d pictured. At the airport, I somehow ended up at the wrong gate while my sister was at the correct one. I went through security alone and made it to what I thought was our gate, waiting by myself for about 20 minutes… until my sister called, annoyed, asking where I was. She thought I was running late and was now rushing through security, while I was already calmly sitting at the actual gate, ready to board. We finally met up, I apologized for the mix-up, she forgave me, and we grabbed some coffee. Caffeine in hand, we headed back to board—only to discover we were surrounded by a group of about 20 teenagers on a school trip to New York. My sister and I aren’...
Read more