Water for Maricel

I had an awful awful dream! I love water! In my dream I was drinking water. It was an endless supply of water. But in my dream, it was nothing. It was just...water. It didn't have the satisfying taste that it normally gives me and it was really disappointing! Thank goodness I woke up and that wasn't the case at all! It was so good and I was no longer sad. :) What a relief!

Cultivating relationships

Maintaining relationships demands effort; it's a mutual journey. Each party contributes, and amidst this exchange, bonds form—be it friendships or deeper connections. Some relationships necessitate more investment; sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, striving to sustain the connection. Personally, I've struggled with nurturing friendships; perhaps due to youthful ignorance, where life felt boundless, consequences seemed distant, and self-centeredness prevailed. As age brings maturity, many friendships naturally drift away amid life's chaos and the challenges of adulthood. Reflecting on my past interactions often astonishes me; how did I manage any healthy relationships back then? Truthfully, I didn't. Those who I once considered friends, or who considered me as such, have vanished, leaving behind only fragmented memories—thanks, memory loss. Although forgetfulness might seem a blessing, the impressions we leave behind persist. This notion unne

Will I be blind in 2024?

Last year, the first week of January 2023, I face planted in a parking lot and just about broke my ankle. This is where my diabetes journey started. The trauma to my ankle was server but thankfully not broken, but it shouldn't have taken as long as it did to heal. By the beginning of March 2023 I was finally out of the boot and scooter. The 2nd week of March is when I was diagnosed with diabetes. So, a year later, I'm on the path to living with my diabetes and getting it under control. The weekly shots have played a significant role in my progress. I walked into this year, January 2024, VERY carefully. BUT, don't you worry, I'm not leaving this month unscathed. The first weekend of the month, I went to the barn, had my lesson, had a great ride with Buffy and I came home. I decided to lay down for a minute before starting my weekend reset. A short nap. This short nap turned into a 12 hour nap. I basically slept from Saturday afternoon, to Sunday afternoon. Some nap, I wa

I'm being selfish

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions that I struggle to articulate. Attending the funeral of a childhood friend's father, who passed away unexpectedly, opened floodgates of nostalgia and sadness. We shared a bond through our mutual love for horseback riding, receiving our first ponies almost simultaneously. While we've drifted apart as adults, the news hit me hard. Our parents, similar in age and pursuits, faced the unimaginable loss of a husband, father, grandfather, brother, and friend. Witnessing my friend's grief and contemplating my own future in their shoes brought tears of empathy and fear. The inevitability of losing loved ones, a reality we often push aside, looms ominously. Reflecting on my relationship with my family, I realize how it's evolved over the years. From distant ties to a profound dependency, I now find solace and support in them daily. When my father suffered a heart attack, I was thrust into a surreal state of emotional numbness, only to cr

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