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i just keep getting older....

seriously? i dont know what happened today, but im sitting in my room, just thinking....not on the phone, or on my computer, just sitting in silence thinking about the past few month, past few weeks,  replaying today in my head, thinking about the future, just everything that my brain doesnt ever stop thinking about. im always thinking, always planning, always wondering, but just because im thinking doesnt mean that im actually processing.  but today i let it sink in,  it dawned on me, hit my like a ton of bricks falling from the sky....I'm going to be TWENTY SEVEN this year! OMG! Really? 27? I do not feel twenty seven. Like, I'm suppose to be a real adult. I should feel like an adult right? and thats what boggles my mind because I dont know what it feels like to feel like an adult. I see people that are only a year to couple years younger than me, they are married, have families, have houses, a dog, a cat and children! Im going to be 27 and I barely have any of that. i have dog, pretty sure im going to live with my parents till im 30+, and the only real thing of value that i own, is my iphone. i sleep, i eat, i sometimes go to class and i go to work. that is my life. like i want to someday have a house of my own, be a good wife to someone, cook well burnt meals, have children and hopefully raise them to NOT be anything like myself...one day. but then i think, one day? maricel, youre 27....one day is going to be ten years from now! and in ten years im going to be EVEN older! omg i dont even want to think about. but then again, im not old....but im not young either. see where im headed with this? in a circle full of confusion. eck! it makes me laugh because i remember thinking when i was 21, what would i be like when im 30? we'll its getting closer and ill soon find out.

today i got off work a few mins early and i just decided to leave. i didnt txt anyone, i didnt call anyone...my goal was to miss traffic and get home before 6p. well an hour and half later im home. walk my dog, enjoy the weather, give my puppy some attention and get a little exercise in before the night is over. plus, the minute i walk into my room, i know im not going to do anything else but sit down. im so exhausted today for some reason. being a woman really sucks sometimes. and yes im a typical woman who has that time of the month where i get cranky moody emotional and everything else in-between. in these times of hormonal confusion my mind is just all over the place.

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