Skip to main content

Hello?! I'm right here!!

so! I'm sitting at work, on my lunch. listening to Adam Lambert your entertainment and its actually not a bad song. i should be working on my 5 papers that i still haven't finished for school, but we all know that's not going to happen! lol. i need to work on school I'm just not motivated to do it at all! i know once i get pass these two classes it will be more fun.

i so heart my iPhone! i cant imagine my life w/out it now! i mean how could i have gone this long without it?! how can a person function without everything in the palm of their hand? it just doesn't make sense to me at all!

i want to get out of the Dallas/fort worth area for a while. but where would i go? Cali? NY? fl? aspen? the options are endless, but i can never get myself to just go! i don't see why i haven't traveled the world....I'm single, I'm not attached to anyone, i have a job, i don't have very many bills, i should be jet setting every weekend! i think I'm just so ready for change! I'm ready for something! other than what I'm doing right now. i don't want to be doing what i do day in and day out anymore. theres got to be something more.... I'm so tired of feeling like I'm going no where, where I'm at right now, its just...nothing. i wake up go to work, go to school, study, eat, drink and sleep! and part of it is because i have no one to share it with. I'm so content being single right now, but sometimes i wonder if ill ever find someone to enjoy my life with. will it ever happen to me? my life is going really good right now and i don't need someone else to 'complete me' but it would be nice to have someone (other than my parents) wonder where i am when i don't come home after work, or to call and say goodnight, or just share a really funny moment that happened. im not ready to love someone i dont have the strength to stand with that thought, i just want someone to have fun with....other than going to bars and drinking. i can honestly say that i dont want a boyfriend, but i want some company. its getting lonely. im getting lonely. but i know im not ready to share my entire life with someone else, im still to selfish for that. but im ready for something. something more adult.

interesting.

Popular posts from this blog

Cultivating relationships

Maintaining relationships demands effort; it's a mutual journey. Each party contributes, and amidst this exchange, bonds form—be it friendships or deeper connections. Some relationships necessitate more investment; sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, striving to sustain the connection. Personally, I've struggled with nurturing friendships; perhaps due to youthful ignorance, where life felt boundless, consequences seemed distant, and self-centeredness prevailed. As age brings maturity, many friendships naturally drift away amid life's chaos and the challenges of adulthood. Reflecting on my past interactions often astonishes me; how did I manage any healthy relationships back then? Truthfully, I didn't. Those who I once considered friends, or who considered me as such, have vanished, leaving behind only fragmented memories—thanks, memory loss. Although forgetfulness might seem a blessing, the impressions we leave behind persist. This notion unne...
Read more

I'm being selfish

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions that I struggle to articulate. Attending the funeral of a childhood friend's father, who passed away unexpectedly, opened floodgates of nostalgia and sadness. We shared a bond through our mutual love for horseback riding, receiving our first ponies almost simultaneously. While we've drifted apart as adults, the news hit me hard. Our parents, similar in age and pursuits, faced the unimaginable loss of a husband, father, grandfather, brother, and friend. Witnessing my friend's grief and contemplating my own future in their shoes brought tears of empathy and fear. The inevitability of losing loved ones, a reality we often push aside, looms ominously. Reflecting on my relationship with my family, I realize how it's evolved over the years. From distant ties to a profound dependency, I now find solace and support in them daily. When my father suffered a heart attack, I was thrust into a surreal state of emotional numbness, only to cr...
Read more
Wow, it’s been a while since my last post in April! This year has been a whirlwind—it’s incredible how time flies. Big milestone: I turned 40! I still can’t believe it. I don’t feel 40, though; my mind says 20, but my body sometimes feels 70. 😅 I was lucky to celebrate with my family and closest friends, and my parents surprised me with my very first Louis Vuitton. She’s stunning! I also completed my MSF course, which means I can legally ride my motorcycle now! I recently took my Triumph Bonneville T120 on its first solo ride to work. It was nerve-wracking but exhilarating, and I’m hooked! My next dream bike is the Triumph Scrambler, so I can join my husband on some dirt road adventures. Unfortunately, I got hit with a really bad bug and was in bed for a week, which wiped out all my PTO for the year. This year marked our 10th wedding anniversary, and my parents gifted us a trip to Italy! With no more PTO left, we’ve had to push it to next year, but honestly, I feel good about having ...
Read more