Skip to main content

This or that?!

Well I quit SuperMedia. I learned a lot there. Learned a lot about myself, I grew up a lot in the time that I work there. It made me get my butt into school and realize that I can do school! Even though they aren't paying for my schooling anymore, I'm still going to presue college because I actually like it and I'm so excited to finish!

I cant seem to get better. I keep getting a cold! My nose is annoying the heck out of me, I'm constantly blowing my nose, its rubbed raw! It hurts!

So, I have sat in one place today and I havent moved. I'm in one of my depressed days. Thinking about the past. Thinking about how and if I've moved on. I'm still not sure. I know some of this isn't going to make any sense because I'm writing off incomplete thoughts.

Ive learned so much about myself in the past year! And I'm so ready to be writing about something different other than my sorrows... It's getting old and I'm getting tired of writing about it. I need to focus my energy on something else. And I'm ready, I want to. I'm willing my heart to lead me in a different direction, but I can honeslty say that I'm not sure if my heart and my head will follow each other. One of the two is going to dominate and I don't know which one it will be yet! My head or my heart? I want to go with my head, because my heart will get me into trouble.

Sometimes I really wish I could just say or write what is inside my heart and my head. Truthfully, I'm terrified to hear it or even read it.

Popular posts from this blog

I’m really struggling with watching my parents grow older. My mom’s memory has declined a lot, and walking has become difficult for her. She’s not active anymore—she mostly stays at home, only doing small chores around the house. She has very little motivation to do anything beyond that. My dad takes care of so much for her, and I try to keep her going by spending time with her, but our conversations feel so different now. As for my dad, his health is okay—not great, but manageable. I’ve mentioned before how hard it is to watch him face the physical limitations that come with age. He’s always been the kind of dad who could do it all—fix anything, carry anything, help with anything. He’s been my rock, always there to support me. I don’t think he ever imagined he’d still be helping his 40-year-old daughter with Jeep mods—but knowing him, I’m sure he secretly loves it. My dad and I are both facing new health challenges right now. I’m scared—but thankfully, mine isn’t life-threatening, as...
Read more

Cultivating relationships

Maintaining relationships demands effort; it's a mutual journey. Each party contributes, and amidst this exchange, bonds form—be it friendships or deeper connections. Some relationships necessitate more investment; sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, striving to sustain the connection. Personally, I've struggled with nurturing friendships; perhaps due to youthful ignorance, where life felt boundless, consequences seemed distant, and self-centeredness prevailed. As age brings maturity, many friendships naturally drift away amid life's chaos and the challenges of adulthood. Reflecting on my past interactions often astonishes me; how did I manage any healthy relationships back then? Truthfully, I didn't. Those who I once considered friends, or who considered me as such, have vanished, leaving behind only fragmented memories—thanks, memory loss. Although forgetfulness might seem a blessing, the impressions we leave behind persist. This notion unne...
Read more

2025

Another year has come and gone, and here I am—mid-January already. Christmas was spent with family, as always. The holidays tend to be chaotic, rushing back and forth across town to visit everyone. 2024 was truly a memorable year for me! So many milestones to reflect on: I turned 40. I participated in two amateur horse shows. I earned my motorcycle endorsement. (I conquered the Twisted Sisters route on my motorcycle!) My brother bought a new house (so proud of him—just waiting for a new sister-in-law now!). I celebrated my 10-year wedding anniversary.  And I hit my 2-year mark with my company. It’s been a year of highs and some lows, but I think the highs outweighed the lows—or maybe I just blocked the lows out entirely (I do have a knack for that, haha!). While my memory isn’t quite where I wish it was, I’ve been making an effort to shake things up and challenge myself with new activities. It feels good to break out of the routine and keep my mind sharp. I’ve started gaming recent...
Read more