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long time coming...

Since my new job, my party life has come to some what of a stop. It's totally fine with me except i do miss my old life every now and then. For example my friend jim had his birthday bash on a tuesday night. i went to dinner had a few drink but the real fun started at 10p. everyone was heading to boomer jacks and dukes for drinks, dancing and socializing. but of course i couldnt go because i have to work in the morning. i could have gone, but im determinded to stay focused on my job and do well. since im so focused on my job, for pay period 14 and 15 i got ranked as VIP sales rep for my division, VIP sales rep for my unit and number 1 sales rep for pay 15. my picture is hanging on the wall by the RVP's office! its amazing! im so proud of myself! im also a little shocked at myself as well. I know i have great potential but sometimes its really hard to believe in myself. this job has saved my life. saved me in so many ways i cant even explain. i don't have the desire to party like a rock star, drink my nights away or throw myself at useless guys. im really trying to find myself on this new journey that im taking and its so confusing. ive stopped smoke, ive learned to control my drinking, i have more respect for myself a lot more and i know i deserve something fantastic in my life. ive started going to church and it is changing my life. i look forward to going to church on Tuesday and hearing what Preston has to say. gateway is such a great place to be. i love it. although in the beginning was there was for all the wrong reasons it has now become a part of weekly routine and im now there for all the right reasons. one thing that has changed a lot in my life is im no longer dating or looking. this is a really hard transition for me because im always use to dating someone. whether is just for the company or other reasons that are inappropriate. ive always had boyfriends or ive always had someone to keep my company. ive always had some kind of relationship, ive always made sure that ive had some kind of companion. i stopped dating in march and havent pursued anyone or let anyone pursue me. ive met some really great guys but nothing that has captured my attention. my life is my job right now. i dont have time to involve myself in a relationship. thats just too much to ask of me at this moment in time. i struggle now with trying to juggle my job, friends and family. Sometimes i get so stressed out these 3 areas in my life i cant even imagine having a relationship to tend to. i have been so lucky to have the life that i have. ive learned a lot from my past, taking everything in that i can right now and look forward to everything in my future. im terrified of what my future holds but i know that God has a plan for me. it may not be my plan but i know God will direct my in the right way. even if i resist what he wants for me he will get make me see the right way path to take.

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