Skip to main content

Days off

New to blogging. I've always thought these were just the nice way to say, Dairy or Journal w/out sounding completely girly. These are thoughts. My thoughts. Thoughts that i type out for the whole world to read.

 A few days ago i was going thru some old boxes of high school papers. Old note books, certificates, homework that was never turned in, other ppls homework that i copied off of, love notes, hate notes, secret notes.Well i came across an old binder that was specifically used for messages that were passed around from friend to friend. It's so funny going back and reading everything that we thought was so important back in the day. how selfish and simple we all were. we wrote about who liked who, what was going on the at the football games, what our plans for the weekend would be (which are so Innocent its not even funny) what cracked me up the most was how much my girlfriends and I talked about boys! I can't believe how many crushes we all had thru high school. what would we do if our crush found out we liked them, or we liked the same boy, what we would we do! it was just so horrible! ha ha ha, thats nothing.

 my group of girlfriend consisted of all the 'church' girls. the good girls. i was labeled a good girl up until my Jr year of high school. that's when i started to drift away and explore other other things. such as more boys, parties, driving around, smoking (what kind of smoking) S...E...X...., sneaking out in the middle of the night, staying at friends houses (wink wink). It was never anything REALLY bad, just innocent fun. but back then, man! did i think it was such a thrill!

 Now, I would do anything to have that simple easy life. My life is nothing what I thought it would be. I've got bills coming out my ears, I don't make near enough money to support the life that I have some how created for myself, I've burned bridges, lied, cheated, gotten fired, walked away from perfectly good relationship. I'm a train wreck of emotions, I don't let anyone near me! I've built this incredible solid wall that i don't even know how to break down if i needed to.

 So, now I'm on this huge mission to get my life right. Get back on track. Find myself and just get things in order. I want something that i cant have right now because I have to work on myself first. And I don't want to...I just want to go from step one to step 7 right away. But sadly, I know it doesn't work like that.

 Let's see how far I get before I give up. Maybe in the end I'll get what i really want. You want to know what it is that i really want!? Oh, but I'm not telling. I feel its like making a wish on a shooting star. If I tell you, then it won't come true. And trust me, I want my wish to come true! We'll see. And I'll blog along the way. It's not hard, and if you're smart enuf then I'm sure you'll figure it out.... kiss kiss darling.

Popular posts from this blog

2026

 Where do I even begin? I got sick a few days before New Year’s Eve and ended up ringing in 2026 sick. Is anyone surprised? Because I’m not. I was down for a full week with a terrible case of strep throat—and I don’t even have tonsils. My doctor basically said I’m just prone to strep… because of course I am. Just my luck. Let’s back up to a few days after Christmas. My husband goes on his annual hunting trip every year, which is usually why I end up ringing in the New Year alone. But this time, I decided to go with him. We packed up the Frenchies, Bruno stayed with my sister, and we headed west for a long weekend of hunting. He always brings a couple of deer home, and that meat lasts us through the year. I know hunting isn’t for everyone. We don’t kill for sport—we hunt for food, and we use every part of it. This was actually my first time going to truly hunt. I’ve been out to the land before to shoot guns, fill feeders, and hang around camp… but I’d never gone hunting until now. I...
Read more
I’m really struggling with watching my parents grow older. My mom’s memory has declined a lot, and walking has become difficult for her. She’s not active anymore—she mostly stays at home, only doing small chores around the house. She has very little motivation to do anything beyond that. My dad takes care of so much for her, and I try to keep her going by spending time with her, but our conversations feel so different now. As for my dad, his health is okay—not great, but manageable. I’ve mentioned before how hard it is to watch him face the physical limitations that come with age. He’s always been the kind of dad who could do it all—fix anything, carry anything, help with anything. He’s been my rock, always there to support me. I don’t think he ever imagined he’d still be helping his 40-year-old daughter with Jeep mods—but knowing him, I’m sure he secretly loves it. My dad and I are both facing new health challenges right now. I’m scared—but thankfully, mine isn’t life-threatening, as...
Read more
My sister and I took an early 7 a.m. flight to New York for her birthday. The night before, I had put on a new Dexcom, but just as I was leaving for the airport, I got a notification telling me to remove it immediately because it was defective. Cue me frantically trying to replace it without crying—definitely not the smooth start I’d pictured. At the airport, I somehow ended up at the wrong gate while my sister was at the correct one. I went through security alone and made it to what I thought was our gate, waiting by myself for about 20 minutes… until my sister called, annoyed, asking where I was. She thought I was running late and was now rushing through security, while I was already calmly sitting at the actual gate, ready to board. We finally met up, I apologized for the mix-up, she forgave me, and we grabbed some coffee. Caffeine in hand, we headed back to board—only to discover we were surrounded by a group of about 20 teenagers on a school trip to New York. My sister and I aren’...
Read more