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I’m really struggling with watching my parents grow older. My mom’s memory has declined a lot, and walking has become difficult for her. She’s not active anymore—she mostly stays at home, only doing small chores around the house. She has very little motivation to do anything beyond that. My dad takes care of so much for her, and I try to keep her going by spending time with her, but our conversations feel so different now. As for my dad, his health is okay—not great, but manageable. I’ve mentioned before how hard it is to watch him face the physical limitations that come with age. He’s always been the kind of dad who could do it all—fix anything, carry anything, help with anything. He’s been my rock, always there to support me. I don’t think he ever imagined he’d still be helping his 40-year-old daughter with Jeep mods—but knowing him, I’m sure he secretly loves it. My dad and I are both facing new health challenges right now. I’m scared—but thankfully, mine isn’t life-threatening, as...
Things have changed quite a bit since my last post—mostly due to health challenges. I’ve been sick twice and out of the office for an extended period. I managed to return to work for a week, only to fall ill again, recover, and then experience a relapse that took me out once more.  I thought I was finally on the mend, but I spent an entire weekend knocked out by a migraine—only to be hit in the middle of the night by a gallbladder stone attack. That landed me in the ER, where they put me on morphine. Let’s just say… that was an unforgettable experience. I think morphine makes most people drowsy—but not me. Every thought that popped into my head, I had to say out loud. My poor husband was so annoyed, trying to get some rest in that uncomfortable hospital chair, especially since he had a business trip later that afternoon. As if trying to sleep in a hospital wasn't hard enough already. We finally made it back home, crawled straight into bed, and I eventually passed out from all the m...
Made it into 2025 injury-free—well, mostly! 😆 Besides the usual aches and pains (and that one time I threw my back out, but we’re not counting that—that’s just seasoned wisdom kicking in). On the bright side, my diabetes is well under control! My latest doctor’s appointment went great—numbers are low, bloodwork looks good, and I just need to keep moving forward. Meanwhile, the hubby is down with the flu, so he’s quarantined in the bedroom while I’ve taken over the couch. Work has been hectic. We’ve been short a recruiter, which means more work on my plate. We finally hired someone new, but she’s still in training. She seems nice—quieter than the rest of us, but then again, our little group is a bit on the weird side. On the fun side, I got a new tattoo—matching with my bestie! 💉✨ And now, I’m seriously considering a septum piercing. Call it a midlife crisis if you want, but I say, why not do it while I still can? I haven’t spent much time at the barn this year. Then again, t...

2025

Another year has come and gone, and here I am—mid-January already. Christmas was spent with family, as always. The holidays tend to be chaotic, rushing back and forth across town to visit everyone. 2024 was truly a memorable year for me! So many milestones to reflect on: I turned 40. I participated in two amateur horse shows. I earned my motorcycle endorsement. (I conquered the Twisted Sisters route on my motorcycle!) My brother bought a new house (so proud of him—just waiting for a new sister-in-law now!). I celebrated my 10-year wedding anniversary.  And I hit my 2-year mark with my company. It’s been a year of highs and some lows, but I think the highs outweighed the lows—or maybe I just blocked the lows out entirely (I do have a knack for that, haha!). While my memory isn’t quite where I wish it was, I’ve been making an effort to shake things up and challenge myself with new activities. It feels good to break out of the routine and keep my mind sharp. I’ve started gaming recent...
Wow, it’s been a while since my last post in April! This year has been a whirlwind—it’s incredible how time flies. Big milestone: I turned 40! I still can’t believe it. I don’t feel 40, though; my mind says 20, but my body sometimes feels 70. 😅 I was lucky to celebrate with my family and closest friends, and my parents surprised me with my very first Louis Vuitton. She’s stunning! I also completed my MSF course, which means I can legally ride my motorcycle now! I recently took my Triumph Bonneville T120 on its first solo ride to work. It was nerve-wracking but exhilarating, and I’m hooked! My next dream bike is the Triumph Scrambler, so I can join my husband on some dirt road adventures. Unfortunately, I got hit with a really bad bug and was in bed for a week, which wiped out all my PTO for the year. This year marked our 10th wedding anniversary, and my parents gifted us a trip to Italy! With no more PTO left, we’ve had to push it to next year, but honestly, I feel good about having ...

I'm being selfish

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions that I struggle to articulate. Attending the funeral of a childhood friend's father, who passed away unexpectedly, opened floodgates of nostalgia and sadness. We shared a bond through our mutual love for horseback riding, receiving our first ponies almost simultaneously. While we've drifted apart as adults, the news hit me hard. Our parents, similar in age and pursuits, faced the unimaginable loss of a husband, father, grandfather, brother, and friend. Witnessing my friend's grief and contemplating my own future in their shoes brought tears of empathy and fear. The inevitability of losing loved ones, a reality we often push aside, looms ominously. Reflecting on my relationship with my family, I realize how it's evolved over the years. From distant ties to a profound dependency, I now find solace and support in them daily. When my father suffered a heart attack, I was thrust into a surreal state of emotional numbness, only to cr...

Cultivating relationships

Maintaining relationships demands effort; it's a mutual journey. Each party contributes, and amidst this exchange, bonds form—be it friendships or deeper connections. Some relationships necessitate more investment; sometimes, it feels like you're carrying the weight alone, striving to sustain the connection. Personally, I've struggled with nurturing friendships; perhaps due to youthful ignorance, where life felt boundless, consequences seemed distant, and self-centeredness prevailed. As age brings maturity, many friendships naturally drift away amid life's chaos and the challenges of adulthood. Reflecting on my past interactions often astonishes me; how did I manage any healthy relationships back then? Truthfully, I didn't. Those who I once considered friends, or who considered me as such, have vanished, leaving behind only fragmented memories—thanks, memory loss. Although forgetfulness might seem a blessing, the impressions we leave behind persist. This notion unne...