Writing Away

for new years, i plan on staying in. partly because i have to work friday night till 8ish and then saturday morning at 830 IN THE AM! bless our supervisors and their schedule making, but seriously...how can you schedule 20 something year olds and except them to come into work sober?? on new years? not going to happen, what will happen are people are going to come in late or not come in at all, OR come in still wasted.... I, this year...I am going to to stay in. For the first time in EVER, I dont want to go out for new years. I just want to be home in bed at midnight and go to work in the morning without a massive head injury that i call a hangover. i just cant handle hangovers anymore. being sick and on the brink of death just doesnt seem fun to me anymore. and the recovery time takes longer for me now. i dont know what it is about age, but it really does catch up to you. recovery takes longer, energy and tolerance are not the same anymore either! being sick right before christmas ...

WRONG!!! I shouldnt have said that EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY!!! Because it's NOT!! FML!

I had no idea just how depressed I was till now. Looking at me you would never guess what kind of torture I felt inside....Makes you wonder just how many other people out there are faking it just to make it thru life! Being sad and living in my past with regrets and what ifs'. What a waste of my time! 4 years later I'm finally realizing this! My last 'relationship' was in 2005, but if we want to be technical I can be. 2005, my high school sweetheart and I broke up because our relationship just went sour and I became someone I never want to be ever AGAIN! We had been together since 2002. So that he was a HUGE part of my life. 2005-2006 I thought I had found the love of my life, but he didn't return the feelings, no where near my feelings, we were not on the same page, not even the same book! so I had to take myself out of that relationship. Walking away from someone that I  thought was my future really TORE me up inside! I have replayed this relationship in my head...

2010 in review.... Jan- I partied so hard new years eve eve, on new years eve i was the only sober person in the entire club, because i was still hung over from the night before. and received no new years eve kiss because i was too sober to make out with a drunkard. (i guess thats a good thing?) feb- got my wisdom teeth removed, quit my job, started working with my friend charlotte and i ran my car into my friends boyfriends truck. march - june: i guess nothing i did was much of importance, since i cant seem to remember anything! i was pretty much wrapped up in work, school, weddings, birthdays, engagement parties, bridal showers, baby showers, paying bills, making sure to hang out with the right people, chillin with friends... and being a good person. :) july- signed for my new apartment and then....got laid off from my job....  august- pretty much the same as march- june.... made it thru the summer in one peice... job hunting sucks!  september- My birthday month!!! Th...

(not sure if this is the signature I want to use...still a work in progress...)  (a little disappointed that my ring didn't show up as much as it should have! but im still learning!) Introducing Gus!  Josh and Charlotte's new puppy! OLD English Bull dog!  Thank you for making me...god Mother! :)

Im so excited for all my new projects that are coming up!! I'm not going to get into details yet, but no worries, I'll keep everyone informed!