Writing Away

I am so upset with myself! I am so screwed up in the head!! There is something seriously wrong with me! Because my heart belongs to someone else, anyone else that I ever met will never be able to have all of me. I will never be able to give them what they need! And that is so not fair! Because I know what its like to give my heart to someone and then they dont want it and/or they cant return the feelings!! and that hurts worst!! Now, whoever else I come in contact with that truly has feelings for me, I will not be able to return the feelings! and thats a terrible thing to have to live with! who does that?! i mean....how could i have given my heart to someone who didnt even want it?! but for some reason thats who i chose and now....now im going to live forever alone running away from relationships wishing upon a star that is forever out of reach! i have only told one person that I love them. (besides family and my close friends but other than family and friends) ONE PERSON! im 25! i k...

...So my job is not what it's all cracked up to be. Yeah, its potential to make lots of good money, but you actually have to be 'good' to make all this 'good' money. Sales is another world. It's a cut throat, stab me in the back, I'm still your friend and co-worker kind of job. I have to pick my battles in order to survive in the industry. Accounts are stolen, walls have ears, you're monitored like a hawk preying on its dinner, if you make too much money you're under investigation, don't make enough money, you're in the grey and will be suspended (which is a nice way to say YOU'RE FIRED and you're never getting your job back!) So with that said, I suck at sales. I'm hanging on by a pinky! I've become bitter and angry and I curse more than I usually do. I want to drink till I can't see, and I want to smoke till my lungs are nothing but black coal and have sex with random strangers (totally kidding about that last part but i...